december 27

I haven’t been skating in a couple of years. The first time I went, I was already well into my 20s. I flailed around, smashed into the boards, and fell so many times I probably gave myself severe brain damage. The second time I went was in Oslo, Norway at this huge outdoor rink. Everyone was zipping right past me. Even the Norwegian babies who couldn’t yet walk were skating better than I was. I think (again, I’m not too sure about things because of the aforementioned brain trauma) the third time was a few years ago here in Geneva. I recall falling in a cartoon-like style, where my feet fly out in front of me, I become perfectly horizontal, even levitate upwards a good foot in the air, and then slam down on the ice with a resounding crash. All of this is just background information so you’ll appreciate that this time out on the ice I did not fall a single time. Not once. I still flailed around a good bit and hung close to the edge, but I did not fall. I even was wearing my bicycle helmet to avoid further brain trauma. Snicker if you must, but I was role modeling proper safety habits for the children (plus I had two friends get concussions last year from ice skating falls). And, yes, both of my kids skate better than I do.

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